Episode 6: On What We Take For Granted

Kalispera, Good evening, Buenas Tardes, Dobry Wieczór.

You’re listening to After the Dragon, a reflective, existential podcast about navigating life’s justchanges. Episode 6: On What We Take for Granted.

Let us begin.

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When faced with adversity, when change is thrust upon us, it is easy to reach the simplest of conclusions: that everything is ruined. We now must rebuild from the ground up, standing in the rubble of what once was, watching it all crumble before our eyes.

Have you ever felt like this?

Maybe it happened suddenly, the way a storm descends without warning. Or maybe worse—perhaps you saw it coming all along, but clung to your bad faiths, convincing yourself, against reason, that it wouldn’t arrive.

Sometimes, these moments strike just one part of our lives. We lose a job, a partner, a friend, and yet the impact ripples outward, affecting everything. Even when we inevitably rebound, time is lost. The process hurts.

Other times, it feels like total devastation.

A battle so devastating, like Napoleon's Waterloo, that signaled the definite end of his era. Or Poland in 1939—attacked from all sides by ruthless enemies. A war they could not win, yet still, they fought. And though they fell, they fell as heroes.

When I lived in Poland, I felt that total devastation. My downfall arrived in pieces: my health deteriorated, my career teetered, my relationship eroded, and my time in that country ticked away. I saw it all happening and fought against it, but in the end, it was futile. I lost my job. I couldn’t salvage a relationship, that, reflecting on my own bad faiths, was a dead-end for me. I left Poland with no clear destination.

None of it happened overnight—it took half of 2024 to fully unravel. And when I returned to Greece, as I described in Episode 3, I tried to move forward.

After such periods, our loved ones may try to empathize. To remind us that things will, eventually, turn around. That good times will come again.

And, this can be the case. We can learn from our falls, as we should - these are pivotal life experiences that call us to question our previous beliefs, thoughts, processes, and choices.

With hard work, determination, the proper support - and a fair dose of luck - we can navigate ourselves through these dark times. We can emerge from the clouds of the storm a new, improved version of ourselves, ready for what life has next in store for us.

Yet, there is a caveat to all this. A 'yes, but' to highlight.

Darkness is layered—what seems pitch black may have deeper shades.

Since, even after loss or terrible transitions, there is no guarantee of recovery. Good things do not simply happen to good people. The universe does not run on a karmic scoring system.

We can strive to rebuild, to make things right, even properly learning from our mistakes and changing our strategies—and still, we can fail.

And that was what happened to me too! As I was explaining in previous episodes, my first months back in Greece were making me feel I was deteriorating, as life had more blows to deliver.

In such a time, what I was not accounting for was that there were always worse, far worse fates than the one I was facing.

My worst-case scenario can be someone else's salvation.

Yet, all these remained theoretical in my head.

These were distant ideas, easy to brush aside.

It wasn't until recently, until the end of 2024—a year that, for me, felt like everything had gone wrong, that I saw how these things ain't just theory.

As I finished 2024 in a way that helped me to reframe everything: by spending 10 days in Mumbai.

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Mumbai was a journey I had to bring to this podcast at some point because it was one of the most transformative trips of my life. I went there to attend a wedding, a celebration of commitment, love, and endurance.

I met lovely people there. Most importantly, I saw my close friend, whom I hadn't seen since our Erasmus in Barcelona but had always remained in close contact with, happily marrying a sweet, vibrant person, surrounded by wonderful friends and family.

To my buddy, Nik: please keep flourishing, my dude!

Yet, beyond the wedding and joyful reunions, I had time to tour the city, to walk its streets, and to see firsthand all these theoretical concepts of 'it can always get worse', which were not so theoretical anymore.

You see, Mumbai metropolitan area is populated by more than 20 million people. And it has a characteristic I never have seen in my travels before.

Mumbai is a city of immense contradictions. West-like wealth and comfort can co-exist mere meters away from slums, people living on the streets, facing the worst adversities imaginable.

You cannot avoid noticing both sides of this unfair coin while you are there.

And there was one moment, close to the end of my trip, that I will never forget.

One morning, I went to a different area by myself, planning to meet with someone over coffee.

She had to run slightly late, so, being me, I decided to tour around. I saw on the maps that there was a beach nearby, so I headed towards there for a seaside stroll.

And, as I was walking, I was getting closer and closer to an inhabited area, that I was recognizing from Nik's descriptions. The blue roofs, the hastily built and tightly packed walls, they were a giveaway. Without knowing it, I came head-on with a slum area.

I stood there. I stood there to take notice. And…

Facing the slums, I faced my fallacies. Right when the waves crashed, on this unstable, sandy piece of land, they sought refuge from a world that had forsaken them. Yet kids sprouted out from the blue, plastic roofs, laughing, playing tag, enjoying the waves. It's what they know; it's what they always knew. Nothing but guilt & shame exists for me. Shame, on what I took for granted. And guilt, as I will now be facing them away, never to be gazing my eyes upon them, and return to my world of privilege.

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I recognize that the episode, up to this point, may resolve to the hollow "be grateful for what you have" message you've probably heard over and over again.

And... it's true. That's the point of this episode.

Not everything worth saying has to originate from a cult of personality, or rigorous scientific research.

Life itself is a grand instructor to learn from.

And gratitude is cliché for a reason. Because it's a truth we keep forgetting.

Gratitude has been on the forefront of well-being research for decades now. And practicing gratitude regularly has long-lasting effects on one's well-being. I will drop some sources in the description - although this is not the end of this episode.

Instead, it is to ask you directly, what do you take for granted? Not in a vague, 'count your blessings' way, but in a deeper, actual way.

What parts of your life have you stopped seeing? And more importantly—what are you going to do about it?

Because that is the pitfall of transitions that sometimes we face; that, after devastation, partial or complete, we're left with the feeling that we have to start over from the beginning.

But, that's always never true.

We may have our hearts broken, our confidence shattered, our piggy banks empty and our financials broken.

We may have experienced tragic loss, we need to stop everything and mourn properly.

We may need to take our time, as long as we need; because, in the end, each situation is ours, and the problems we face, big or small, will always be perceived as bigger and more important. And it's not something to feel bad about; it's a part of our human experience.

But, when we're ready to come back, to put in the work to restore what's lost, to attempt to make something even better or greater.

Even if that may never actually happen, we may never be able to come back to what we perceive as "the good times", the times when "we had it all but now they are lost".

There is always something we can count on. There are always some blessings to be grateful for.

Our friends who make us laugh. Our pets are there to hug and cuddle when we most need it. Beautiful nature scenes to awe upon. Random acts of kindness are seen in the streets. Warm embraces to receive or even to witness.

And, most importantly, ourselves. As our inherent value shouldn't, and isn't, driven by external validations, but from within.

I left Mumbai feeling immense shame & guilt, yes, but also something else—awareness. Not the kind that preaches, but the kind that reminds me: I have choices. I have a chance to create, to contribute, to be kinder.

And, to be happy and grateful. Not only for me. Not only for my blessings. But, even for the kids I saw that day. Playing cheerfully, living life with the cards they have been dealt with.

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You have reached the end of this episode. Thank you for listening.

As you may have noticed, I’ve moved the characteristic poem segment within the episode itself, instead of placing it in the beginning. This change is based on the feedback I receive from you, and the podcast's analytics, attempting to offer the best experience for this podcast.

So, for any thoughts, comments, or suggestions on this or anything else, reach out through social media: @AftertheDragon. And if you enjoyed this, please consider following, rating, or leaving a review—it helps the show immensely.

If you want to do something to change yourselves, do this until the next episode. Each night before you go to bed, write 3 things that happened in that day that you are grateful for.

It's a well-known intervention of well-being professionals, that is widely suggested in some of the best courses on the subject, like Yale's "The Science of Well Being" and University of Pennslyvania's "Positive Psychology: Applications and Interventions".

And, if you want something more drastic, as I've slightly hinted on episode 5; cut a chunk of your time and offer it to other beings around you. Volunteer. Help the elderly. Work at animal shelters. Give something to charity. Or even spend some time with your loved ones, filling their hearts with joy. That is a definite way of earning things to be grateful for: I promise.

The next episode arrives on March 27. Until then, take care!