Episode 3: The Necessary, Invaluable Falls of Life

I walk in the present, uncertain of my future, reminiscing of the past, towards the unknown. Like vultures sensing death, my thoughts swarm me. Ignoring them, I try to. It is not very effective. Afraid of them I start to be and seek shelter on a plain field with no corner to hide. They know I cannot resist them. Their offensive they initiate. Viciously they pierce through me. I bleed. I ache. For what am I doing this? For what do I take this journey?

Kalispera, Good evening, Buenas Tardes, Dobry Wieczór - and a lovely 2025 to you all.

Welcome back to After the Dragon.

A non-predetermined tale of navigating life changes after I, your host and patient zero, Michalis, started a journey towards the unknown, hoping to be freed from past shackles.

A tale of a human, for other humans. Wishing to inspire others going through hardships to push on. And to discuss landmark questions and ideas to accompany you along this hard-fought journey.

So, let us begin.

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Have you noticed that we usually seem to have problems?

They do not have to be that big. Probably you can recall an annoying coworker or manager? A tedious work task? A friend repeating the same mistake, even though you warned them many times before?

Even minor inconveniences, in the absence of more pressing ones, become dear to us. They act as the spice that burns us pleasurably, that brings us flavor.

These easier ones, we can survive. We trust ourselves to work on a solution. And even if such confidence is fake, like an untested facade, nuisances of the like won’t have the force required to break it.

Until we face the ones that humble us.

Until we face our fall.

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Have you ever considered that cold, rock bottom?

The situation where your worst fears wouldn’t be mere fears any more, but a reality?

For each of us, that hell would look different; could it be stemming from a lost relationship, a failed career, a serious illness, a financial catastrophe, or a tragic death? You decide.

Consider them, if you dare. Bring them here in front of you, mustering all your courage to face them.

Acknowledge them. Know your enemies. Or, avoid them, and remain a human.

We people, talented camels, we are, in doing so. Avoiding, numbing, gaslighting our idol in the mirror.

Like how I spent my last August, for example. I carried on with my summer holidays as if I hadn't broken up and departed Poland to an unknown future. I tried to shut these worries in the back of my mind, reconnecting with my friends, traveling, going to random events, hoping to rediscover life by constantly pressing the plus 10 seconds button on my Netflix's life adaptation.

Shockingly, it was not working. Something was chipping me away day by day. And I kept pushing harder, hoping to avoid the confrontation.

Until that one event on a random Sunday evening. An uneventful coincidence it was all it took to bring in thoughts of inadequacy, reminiscing of my past. They plagued me for hours, and I couldn't shake them off, no matter how hard I tried this time.

And in a last-ditch attempt to muffle them, I woke up the next day and headed to the gym.

I loaded the bench press, for the first time after months of not doing the exercise.

I was doing it looking for something, anything, for my brain to shut up. A last stance against the vile invader.

After finishing the sets, while I was unloading the bars, while I was lost in fighting myself;

The bar tilted. Left its lock that was loosely placed. And landed on another person’s face.

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The bar, thankfully, had missed his eye for mere centimeters, hitting him slighly above his eyebrow. The person survived with minor injuries.

But, my ego did not. My guilt consumed me. One thing, it was, to torture myself, but to do that to others, was too much to bear.

My fall may have been in the works for months, like a convict waiting for his punishment. That specific moment, though, became my execution.

The next few weeks have been some of my darkest. Some of them spent in Thessaloniki, others in Athens, where the first two episodes took place.

But here in Eani, from all the places I found myself in a small Greek village, I reflected.

I connected the pieces of my demise, and reconnected with a book I read some time ago; Albert Camus’ “The Fall”.

The existentialist's last complete novel is fascinating, so I won't spoil it. Instead, I want to use it as a starting point, for the topic of this episode alone.

Jean Baptiste Clamance, the book's narrator & main protagonist, was a highly successful person for most of his life; a top-performing lawyer who defended the most charitable-looking cases by choice, a high-class gentleman living the perfect life in Paris.

On the surface, all seems fine & well. Had he lived in the modern day, he would probably evolve into an influencer amassing a huge, loyal fan base.

And he felt special, on top of his world, a kind, virtuous man! Why wouldn't he, when everything's going well for him?

Well, that's the thing; everything was going well for him. Until they were not.

You see, Camus’ Clamence? He’s not just a character; he’s a mirror reflecting our own pretenses.

What he was doing all along was putting on a socially acceptable performance. As the book puts it: After Jean-Baptiste helped a blind man cross the street, he tipped his hat towards him... the show must go on, I guess, even if the audience can't even see it. Freddie would understand.

Once the cracks began to surface, he began to realize how spineless he was. He truly held no values of his own; rather, he just used the ones most applicable to each setting. He was but a talented chameleon on norms and customs, playing life on easy difficulty.

There is a famous scientific finding that's very relevant to this; and highly poetic in a sense.

The trees of Biosphere2, a project aiming to create artificially perfect living conditions for plants, animals, and humans, faced a peculiar issue; after a specific height, they were just... falling down.

It took some time, but the scientists figured it out. The reasons? The trees had a too perfect of an environment.

Normally, when you cut through a tree's bark, you see its rings. In the wild, these rings grow irregularly, depending on the environmental conditions - specifically, the wind tormenting them. Yet, within the facility, the trees didn't face any issues. They grew perfectly round circles; beautiful, sure, but useless in helping them to stand! Without life's stress, the trees never... stood a chance (pun intended, yes).

So, while Jean Baptiste life's was a constant stream of success & enjoyment, when faced with minor inconveniences, similarly to the trees, he crumbled.

He was not as great as he thought he was, after all. He was not so special.

And instead of facing the facts, instead of putting in the work to bring change.

He tried his best to avoid this responsibility in all sorts of ways imaginable.

But, I won't refer to them. His distractions are his; he is but a fictional example, and I refuse to point a finger at him - as he would do to us if he truly existed.

How about yours instead, dear listener? How about all the ways you use to avoid your responsibility?

Last episode, we discussed bad faiths. Although Sartre and Camus themselves had, as the young kids would say, beef with each other, the latter's concept is applicable in the former's novel. As a reminder, bad faith is the act of lying to oneself to escape responsibility. Many of our bad faiths can play the role of such mental (or even physical) drugs indeed.

Yet they ain't the only ones.

And, at the end of the day... all of them, ultimately, may bit work.

Because life hardships can still hit you harder.

As they've hit me. As they've hit everyone else.

They'll strip you down of your defenses.

And, they'll make you suffer.

And... it's fine.

It's more than fine. It's a blessing.

Shall you be willing to face your dragon, and not avoid it. Shall you be wishing to not stay a camel, and become a lion.

The following is an actual Nietzsche quote, probably winning the award of the worst wishes ever conceived: "To those human beings who are of any concern to me, I wish suffering, desolation, sickness, ill-treatment, indignities."

Yeah, Nietzsche must have been fun at parties. But there is a clear reason why; he finished such a quote by saying "I wish them the only thing that can prove today whether one is worth anything or not—that one endures."

Because there is a possibility that everything in life will fall into place for you, perfectly fine.

Yet, that would have been one of the most tragic things that can happen to you.

I have a friend, Markella, who said the following in the aftermath of the gym incident, and I will echo it here too. You’re going through hardships right now, so cherish them. You may not be able to do so now but trust that this is life period will be the most valuable.

Don’t hide from problems. Let them ache. Learn from them. Face them, embrace change.

And slowly; better days will come. As, by enduring them, you, yourself can go through the other side, a changed human.

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Once again, I am very grateful for you reaching the end of this episode.

If you enjoyed it, leave a like and a review, or recommend it to your loved ones. As the podcast is in its early stages, this is a massive help for me. And for any comments or feedback, feel free to reach out on the show's social media.

We return to the biweekly format, so the next episode is on January 23rd. See you all there!